Monday, May 31, 2010

Warm and Fuzzy Memories

I remember taking road trips to Pittsburgh Grandma's house. She lived on a red brick road. Pittsburgh Grandma was my father's mother and she passed away before I turned 5. I don't remember what she was like, but I know she loved me very much. I remember little things though and of course I've heard about her, so I have a picture in my head of what she must have been like. She had a funny sense of humor and many 'sayings'. "If you eat the crust it will make your hair curl." She left me a great legacy. She provided well for her family as a single mom (Grandpa passed away when my father was 7). Her house wasn't extravagant. She had her own realty business and she saved for her grandchildren's college funds. She also bought us all diamonds for our wedding rings, but they were lost. I know she was very proud of her Lithuanian culture. The thing that keeps coming to mind is-- she could save for us because she lived so providently. There is so much that endears me to her. I remember how much I loved college. I recall a particular instance when I was in the cafeteria on the couch and I sat back and my eyes welled up with tears as I felt so overwhelmed by how deeply she loved me and the opportunities she provided for me.
I found a recipe ledger of hers. I've been trying out her recipes. She made really good shortbread. I think of what it would be like to cook with her. I've been trying to reawaken my Lithuanian roots. I joined a Lithuanian group in Portland. I'm studying traditions and trying to apply them in my family. I want my kids to be excited about it and to know how cool she was. I want to be like her. I want to provide for my family like she provided for me. I want to leave a legacy like that. I mean, how can you make sure a child grows up to love you and admire you and be inspired by you when the last time the child saw you they were only 4? She must have loved us so much, she sacrificed so much for us. When I see her again in Heaven, I will throw my arms around her and tell her Thank you. I always wish for more time, but sometimes I feel her with me as I try her recipes and traditions and count the most amazing blessings in my life. I thank God that she is my Grandmother. I feel like I'm cool by relation. I strive to live up to the legacy she left me.
-Sarah

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

All Gooey Inside

I love love love my family. I will be flying to see them soon. I can hardly wait. My visit prompted a family reunion since I live all the way in Oregon and I can't drive to Ohio. I am super excited to see everyone. My sister Krista is coming up early with her son to spend more time with me. The thought made me feel so gooey and warm inside (like a toasted marshmallow). I am the 5th of 6 kids. I'll give you the line up-- 1. Bra-Bra, 9 years older than me, loves Italy, lives in the cheese state, working on doctorate in SLA. 2. Kathleen, has 4 kids ages 6 and younger, lives in Tennessee. 3. Lee, Veteran of the Iraq war, lives in my home town. 4. Krista, has one boy, lives in Kentucky. 5. Lovable furry old me. 6. Bryan, big superman fan, lives in my home town.
It will be quite the crowd. I am so excited to show off my offspring and meet the new little ones in the family. I am excited to be around them all, see where I came from again. I love them so much! Now, back to my chores. ;)

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Pound Foolish

The name of the blog is "Blossoming into Motherhood", in other words, "I have so much to learn about running a house!" Yesterday I was so up on my ego, feeling like I could do anything. Today I am so ashamed. I look back on yesterday me and shake my head in disappointment. I took a look at something scary, but very important....... any guesses what it was? Ok, fine, you were smart enough to read the title of this post. The scary and important thing was my spending. Honestly, I feel disgusted in myself. However, we can't go back in time and un-spend it, so we must look forward and make tomorrow a different picture.
I now understand why I got so lost yesterday on my way to my nephew's Birthday party. It was God preparing me for today. I was wondering as I was lost what life lesson I was supposed to learn from it-- there had to be a life parallel that I needed to apply. I noticed that the feelings I had as I looked at my finances were identical to the feelings I had whilst I was lost, taking 2 hours to get 30 minutes away. I was frustrated, I kept thinking, "I want to be on the freeway!" and "If I had known it would take me 2 hours to get there, I would have left earlier." and "I want to be done driving." and "This GPS is teasing me." It was a parable. My destination in life is having a home to raise my family in, I want to get there as fast as I can, but I have to keep my eye on the map and make sure I'm on course. I feel like I've been such a fool. I have every tool at my disposal, but I've been ignoring them... so, I'm not in debt, I have avoided disaster, but I need to get this family on track to reach that destination. There are so many things we could provide for our family if we lived more providently. I now have a plan and the tools are being used wisely now. We will get there!
Ok, my favorite parallel- You know how GPS info can get out of date... there are some roads that aren't shown because they are newer than the information the GPS has. Well, my favorite parallel is that paying tithing is like updating the GPS. You might find a shortcut or a better place to end up than you had planned. ;)