Monday, May 31, 2010

Warm and Fuzzy Memories

I remember taking road trips to Pittsburgh Grandma's house. She lived on a red brick road. Pittsburgh Grandma was my father's mother and she passed away before I turned 5. I don't remember what she was like, but I know she loved me very much. I remember little things though and of course I've heard about her, so I have a picture in my head of what she must have been like. She had a funny sense of humor and many 'sayings'. "If you eat the crust it will make your hair curl." She left me a great legacy. She provided well for her family as a single mom (Grandpa passed away when my father was 7). Her house wasn't extravagant. She had her own realty business and she saved for her grandchildren's college funds. She also bought us all diamonds for our wedding rings, but they were lost. I know she was very proud of her Lithuanian culture. The thing that keeps coming to mind is-- she could save for us because she lived so providently. There is so much that endears me to her. I remember how much I loved college. I recall a particular instance when I was in the cafeteria on the couch and I sat back and my eyes welled up with tears as I felt so overwhelmed by how deeply she loved me and the opportunities she provided for me.
I found a recipe ledger of hers. I've been trying out her recipes. She made really good shortbread. I think of what it would be like to cook with her. I've been trying to reawaken my Lithuanian roots. I joined a Lithuanian group in Portland. I'm studying traditions and trying to apply them in my family. I want my kids to be excited about it and to know how cool she was. I want to be like her. I want to provide for my family like she provided for me. I want to leave a legacy like that. I mean, how can you make sure a child grows up to love you and admire you and be inspired by you when the last time the child saw you they were only 4? She must have loved us so much, she sacrificed so much for us. When I see her again in Heaven, I will throw my arms around her and tell her Thank you. I always wish for more time, but sometimes I feel her with me as I try her recipes and traditions and count the most amazing blessings in my life. I thank God that she is my Grandmother. I feel like I'm cool by relation. I strive to live up to the legacy she left me.

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